AHHH OMG OMG!! Look at me...freaking out over nothing.

This is an actual story of one of those girls on the new MTV show True Life: I Have Nothing to Do With My Time Besides Waste It.

She was just hanging out with one of her friends, trying on make-up and stuff, when her Blackberry Curve buzzed ominously on the table. She figured it was another friend texting her about some party or whatever.

Her friend slid the phone over the countertop without missing a beat, not even looking up from straightening her hair. They had practiced the same exact drill so many times before, by now it was just muscle memory. Thumb here, press there, message sending, sent.

She glanced down at her phone, expecting maybe an ever-fowarded "If you send this to 10 people tomorrow you will meet Prince Charming, you will be able to read minds and your father will buy you a pet unicorn..." But, no!

OMG! Wait a second. Was this for real? It was him! HE texted her! AHHH! Why? OMG! It was the best day of her life. HE actually texted her. She was freaking out. She started jumping up and down screaming! AHHH OMG OMG OMG! Why did he text her? Did he like her? Does he know she likes him? AHHH!

She was so over-the-moon excited about this text. OMG! This, like, never happened ever.
The screen flashed along with her excitement:

1 New Message
From HIM

She didn't know what to do. Should she open it? Should she read the text? Should she pretend she didn't see it, building the anticipation on her (almost nonexistant) relationship? What should she say if she did respond? Should she use all capitals? All lowercase? Some caps and some lowercase? Mostly lowercase with a few caps randomly thrown in for affect? TaLk LiKe ThIs? Only capatalize every other Q? Every other E? Every other Y?

She turned to her friend, who still didn't know about this earth-shattering, ground-breaking, unprecedented, amazing, super-awesome, freak-out worthy event and was still dabbling away at her already perfectly pin-straight locks.

"OMG! OMG!"
"What?!"
"You will NEVER guess what like just happened. Like I'm like so excited right now. Like, you have no like idea."
"OMG! What is it? What happened?"
"HE texted me!"
"Like what do you mean HE texted you?"
"HE like texted me!!!"
"AHHH!"
"AHHH!"
"Are you going to like respond?"
"What should I say?! Should I use capitals? All lowercase?..."

She was contemplating what to do. If she texted right back, she could seem eager. But she didn't want to blow him off. She could open it, but decide not to text back right away. Maybe she would never respond. Maybe she would call him! Respond on Facebook wall to wall! Facebook pop-out chat! IM! IM to his cell phone! Oh, the possibilties were endless.

After much deliberation, (because 34 seconds is so long, you know?) she slowly slid her phone over in the palm of her hand, feeling the smooth, hard metal covering twirl against her lotioned and perfumed skin. Her friend looked over her shoulder curiously, because duh, that's what friends are for. Then, she squeezed her eyes shut...first the left one, then the right. She quickly clicked the necessary buttons on her phone to go to the texting menu before she could change her mind. (After all, she had done it so many times before, she really could do it with her eyes closed. Left, left, right, center.) It only took a second for the text to open.

She opened her eyes. The screen read:

hey.