Worst YouTube Video. Ever.

I'm getting old.

Alright, alright. I'm not old. Like, old-old. At least not in that cane-and-walker, Depends diapers, false teeth that fall out in your soup kind of old. Not even in that gray hair and "ah! my achin' back!" kind of old.

But I'm growing up.

The other day, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm aging. Aging! Me, invincible Maxine, is growing older. Wow. Now I know what my mom always complains about. Well, this stinks.

I was sitting casually in my fraying desk chair, contemplating my procrastonated English paper, when my little brother suddenly ran in the room with a grin ear-to-ear. He was more off-the-walls than a Mexican jumping bean on crack.

"Maxi! Maxi! OMG! You GOT to see this!" he excitedly screamed.
"What now, Myles? I've got to do stuff."
"Let me just show you! Please!"

He led me to YouTube where he proceeded to excitedly type in "Salad Fingers." Just from the title, my stomach began to churn. (Never eat a super size salad from a McDonalds with ranch dressing. Don't even think of mashing the fries into the ranch dressing. Ever.)

The obviously homemade cartoon began to play. Instantly, my brother cracked up. He proceeded to laugh hysterically throughout the entire 2-minute waste of my life. He thought it was so funny. Like, actual laugh out loud, rolling on the ground, stomach-aching funny. The kind of laughter you get after watching one of those Japanese game shows where people fall off logs.

I found nothing even slightly comical about the strange emo figure finding pleasure in touching rusty spoons. "The feel of rust against my salad fingers is almost orgasmic?" What the heck? Rust is not orgasmic. ORGASMS are orgasmic. (Or ice cream.)

When I saw there were multiple episodes of this nonsense, I began to scream! Who would actually want to follow along with these schenanagans? They must be extremely sexually deprived or temporarily psychotic. Or both.

So, I guess I'm old, then. I don't find childish humor the least bit funny anymore. And I'm scared. What's next? I'll scoff at Spongebob?

No! Not the sponge.


In case you missed Salad Fingers, check it out here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3iOROuTuMA