Diaries of a Ditz

I have blonde hair.
This is not a bad thing. Actually, it's kind of a good thing. It's naturally light in some places and dark in others; with Sun-In, I think it looks pretty nice in the summertime.
Except, I get stereotyped by strangers. A lot. I mean, obviously a girl with blonde hair must be dumb, get sub-par SAT scores, and have a rough time speaking the English language properly. Right? Oh, of course!
To all the blonde girls out there: I feel your pain. Whenever someone starts off a sentence with "Hey, did you hear the latest about that blonde girl that (insert dumb action here)..." I want to run away screaming. I have common sense! I really do! I mean, it's just...I'm smart. I'm in honors classes. I can speak English fluently and have a firm grasp of Spanish. Just because I'm a blondie doesn't mean I'm going to fall off of a mountain or grab a backpack instead of a parachute when skydiving.

So, for your enjoyment, here's a list of the ditsiest blonde things I've ever heard of. (Warning: do not attempt unless your hair is nearing the strawberry-golden range of hues, otherwise you WILL be questioned about your true hair color and the reason behind your actions.)

1. At a ski area, accidentally get lost and end up in the backyard of a southern-VT farm, 30 miles away from your original point. Hitchhike back to the mountain on the back of a man named Old Grizzly's dirtbike.
2. Accidentally throw a pack of gum in with the laundry, thinking it's a dryer sheet. Have bits and pieces of your clothes stick together. (R.I.P. black tank top!)
3. Send a text to your cousin saying "Sorry I can't hang out tonight, I have to go to that disgusting diner with my family. It's my cousin's birthday. I can't believe he likes that place!" Then, realize your uncle actually owns the restaurant.
4. Answer the door with only a towel on without realizing your best friend's older father was at the door. Panic, and quickly bend down so he can only see your head through the window on the door. Instead of smoothly fixing your blunder, end up looking 3 feet tall and naked.
5. Write a poem making fun of your English teacher and her poetry assignment. Accidental hand that poem in instead of your real one. Act confused when "See me" appears at the top of the paper.
6. Throw snowballs at cars passing by on a snowy day. Realize that the line of cars wasn't slow moving traffic; it was a funeral procession.
7. Call your bad-service waiter names behind his back. Do an impersonation of his funny accent. Discuss being scared of spit in your food. Realize he was behind you, overhearing the mockery.
8. Get mad at friend in hallway at school. Hit him with backpack. Run away, but trip into garbage can, Mean Girls-style.
9. Break the belt loop on your brand new pants. Wear a long sweatshirt to cover it. Get dared into doing pull-ups on a metal bar over your friend's doorway. Have sweatshirt rise, revealing broken belt loop. Belt falls off. Pants fall off. You stay on the pull-up bar.
10. Type a long, personal IM to a close friend. Post it as your Facebook status by mistake.

Ugh, I guess blonde jokes CAN be kind of funny...here's some more good ones. http://www.coolblondejokes.com/